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By Bolanle Bolawole

Downpresser man/Where you gonna run to/Downpresser man/Where you gonna run to

Downpresser ma/Where you gonna run to/All along that day

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By Emeka Obasi

What we call elections may not pass any test across the border. I hinged all hope on Mahmood Yakubu, a man so exposed to decency and organisation, to change the face of INEC and leave the stage an eternal hero. Unfortunately, everything went awry.

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By Funke Egbemode

I love watching the musical video of Asake’s Joha. There’s just something about it that makes me smile, cheers me up even. I still can’t place a finger on it. Maybe it’s the dance steps, the moves. But this is not a review of musical videos. It is actually about brides, today’s brides dancing as if they are auditioning for musical videos. As if it is not bad enough that they have their breasts in the faces of the wedding guests, they dance as if they are performing for a concert audience with the ‘family jewels’ jiggling so ferociously people like me fear they will pop out of their corsets and embarrass cringing decency. The groom’s men openly ogle their best friend’s private property. The lecherous old men leer and smack their lips while pretending to act fatherly. Is it their fault? Window shopping is free from here to Australia. The brides are providing it and everybody is enjoying it.

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By Bola Bolawole

The piece you are about to read was first published by me on 30th September, 2015, almost eight years ago and just four months into retired Major-General Muhammadu Buhari’s presidency. With little editing to whittle it down to fit into the space allotted,, it is as relevant today as it was then. Enjoy it!

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By Lizzy Okoji

With air strikes in Khartoum, Darfur, and other cities of Sudan resuming just hours after the ceasefire, one would only wonder what next to expect in the conflict-torn country.

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By Funke Egbemode

If largeness of breasts and flatness of stomach is what floats your boat, then Floxy is right up your alley. She is cutely curvaceous, knows it and takes full advantage of it. Not that she is a bimbo whose only unique selling point is her body, no. She is actually a brilliant business executive. Just that there is something about her that makes her unapproachable, at least by young struggling guys. She is more mature, wiser and more focused than her age. She is north of 30 by the way but she has in the last two years accomplished a lot, plenty of thanks to her wily, single-minded new approach to life. Ask her why young single men are no longer part of her vision and she’d tell you she’d had enough of them to last half a lifetime. For now, she loves them married. It’s either the man is married or she would not dignify him with even a breakfast date. Does she want to be a second or third wife or a mistress for life? No, she just finds the married men’s encumbrances useful to her cause and the single men’s blatant uncreative lies unattractive.

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